In this part, we read the answers given to the questions by a candidate. Then, we’ll discuss the answer and estimate the score, and in the last part, we’ll work on improving the answers.
Describe someone (a famous person) that is a role model for young people.
You should say:
- Who he/she is
- How you knew him/her
- What he/she has done
And explain why he/she can be a role model for young people
You will have to talk about the topic for one to two minutes. You have one minute to think about what you are going to say. You can make some notes to help you if you wish.
Sample Answer (Estimated band score: 6)
Well, I want to talk about Cristiano Ronaldo. He’s a famous soccer player, you know, from Portugal. I knew about him from watching soccer matches on TV. He’s really popular all over the world because he’s so good at playing soccer.
Cristiano Ronaldo has achieved a lot in his career. He’s won many awards and trophies, like the FIFA Ballon d’Or, which is a really big deal in soccer. He also broken a lot of records, like scoring the most goals in the UEFA Champions League. And he’s played for some of the best teams in the world, like Manchester United and Real Madrid.
I think Cristiano Ronaldo can be a role model for young people because he’s worked really hard to get where he is. He didn’t have an easy childhood, but he never gave up on his dream of becoming a professional soccer player. He’s also really disciplined and dedicated to his training. And he’s always trying to improve himself, both on and off the field.
Another reason why he’s a good role model is that he’s not just a great soccer player, but he’s also a good person. He’s involved in a lot of charity work and he uses his fame to help people in need. He’s donated a lot of money to different causes, like building schools and hospitals. So, I think young people can look up to him not just for his talent, but also for his kindness and generosity.
Feedback:
- Task Response (Band Score: 6): The response addresses all parts of the cue card, describing the famous person, how the speaker knows about them, what they have achieved, and why they can be a role model for young people. However, the response lacks depth and detail in some areas.
- Grammar Range and Accuracy (Band Score: 5): The grammar is generally understandable, but there are several errors in verb tense consistency, word order, and sentence structure. For example, “He also broke a lot of records, like scoring the most goals in the UEFA Champions League.” could be improved to “He has also broken many records, such as scoring the most goals in the UEFA Champions League.”
- Lexical Resources (Band Score: 5.5): The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there is room for improvement in variety and precision. The speaker repeats some words and phrases, such as “soccer player” and “he’s.”
- Cohesion and Coherence (Band Score: 5.5): The response is generally coherent, with a clear sequence of events and ideas. However, transitions between sentences could be smoother to enhance overall cohesion.
Improved Version:
I’d like to discuss Cristiano Ronaldo, a renowned soccer icon who serves as a role model for young people worldwide. My awareness of him primarily stems from watching soccer matches on television, where his exceptional talent and dedication shine brightly.
Cristiano Ronaldo’s remarkable achievements on the soccer field are widely recognized. He has garnered numerous prestigious awards, including the FIFA Ballon d’Or, and has set numerous records, such as surpassing the highest goal-scoring tally in the UEFA Champions League. Furthermore, his illustrious career has seen him represent esteemed clubs like Manchester United and Real Madrid.
What sets Cristiano Ronaldo apart as a role model is not just his athletic prowess, but also his unwavering commitment and resilience. Despite facing adversities during his upbringing, he remained steadfast in pursuing his dreams of professional success in soccer. His relentless work ethic and dedication to continuous self-improvement serve as inspiring examples for young individuals striving to achieve their goals.
Moreover, Cristiano Ronaldo’s philanthropic endeavors underscore his compassionate nature and altruistic spirit. He utilizes his global platform to champion various charitable causes, including the construction of schools and hospitals, demonstrating his commitment to making a positive impact beyond the realm of sports. Thus, young people can aspire to emulate not only his athletic achievements but also his philanthropic contributions and humanitarian values.
